|
[Wednesday
July 30th, 2008 4:20am] |
|
Why is it that sex has become a precursor to marriage? I thought that ideally, one was supposed to wait until marriage to have sex. But now, if one is not 'sexually active', then chances are that the other person in the relationship will not stick around. Also, why can't someone be abstinent without being overly religious? I suppose this is just 21st Century America; where Purity is weakness.
|
|
|
|
[Saturday
June 21st, 2008 12:28pm] |
|
I fainted on the plane. That was humiliating.
|
|
|
| Nobody screws somebody who's legally blonde. |
[Wednesday
June 18th, 2008 2:44am] |
My feet are killing me from yet another amazing night at Coco Bongo. I will miss Cancun like mad when I return to Albuquerque on Saturday. I think I will try and come back for Spring Break.
Anyway, as mentioned, Legally Blonde: The Musical is my latest obsession. I have always loved the movie, because I can relate quite a bit to Elle Woods. I take part in many 'subculture' activities; namely Vampire: The Requiem LARP and SCA. Though, I find myself having a hard time fitting in, especially in SCA, because I really do tend to come off as a generic 'dumb blonde'. I find this sort of ironic, since I know that many people involved in such things fall into these subcultures, because they felt that they were outcast by 'mundane' culture. Yet, when someone comes along who is a bit different, they cast them out all the same.
Though, there are a few people who "see beyond all the blonde to my mind", and they make it all worth it. I honestly don't see why someone can't be into clubbing, shopping, and fashion and also be into the SCA. I don't see why just because someone is blonde and bubbly, she can't be seen as intelligent, too.
That's what Legally Blonde is all about. I should take a hint from Elle Woods and go marching into Pennsic in adorable pink garb, damn whatever other women might say. But, not about to happen. I really, really, want to go to Pennsic though. Maybe a Fairy Godmother will come along and turn me....into someone "right" for the SCA.
|
|
|
|
[Friday
June 13th, 2008 12:00am] |
It's one on the morning in Cancun, and I'm tired. Second night in a row I feel too tired to club. What the Hell is wrong with me?
I'm not going to Pennsic. There are only about two people who want me there.
|
|
|
| Coco Bongo! |
[Monday
June 9th, 2008 1:47am] |
Coco Bongo in Cancun is seriously the best nightclub ever. I got in VIP, so I didn't have to wait in line for two hours. Then, I was led up to dance on the bar. The music was great, so it was a lot of fun. Though, my shoes were killer. They were really cute sparkling black 4-inch heels. They were pretty comfy for the most part, but after several hours of dancing, my feet were killing me.
Along with an eclectic array of dance music ranging from regular club music to 50's rock, there were shows going on with performers on a stage above, acting out the music video. They also did previews from movies. The best was The Passion of the Christ, where they hoisted these acrobats up in the air draped in white, as if they were rising on a cross, then, it switched into a Cirque du Soleil sort of number with them flipping around in mid-air above everyone.
My man of choice for the evening was this tall, blue-eyed, Australian. He was striking, and it turns out that he is connected with the club or something, since his brother works there. I think. I don't know. The whole problem with nightclubs is that you cannot hear anyone. I didn't get his name, but I did kiss him. I will just refer to him as 'Australian Guy', but then I very well can kiss another Australian guy on this trip, and then I would be confused.
|
|
|
|
[Sunday
June 8th, 2008 12:23am] |
Omigod!
...In love with the Legally Blonde musical.
Really, Elle Woods is my twin soul.
|
|
|
|
[Friday
June 6th, 2008 12:27am] |
This is about control. This is about sex. This is about putting relationships on hold until your thighs don’t meet in the middle and by then you have no libido anyway. This is about hiding under layers of clothing that are mostly black. This is about “Please don’t look at me and cover all the mirrors with black crepe.” This is about avoiding the camera, even at your sister’s wedding. This is about intense self hatred.
-from My Big Fat Eating Disorder.
God, I read this article and nearly cried, since I can relate to every word. I hate that I am not 'correctly' Anorexic. Anyone who says that I should 'change it' if I hate it, should understand that I would if I could. Eating Disorders are not about vanity, but about lack of self esteem. On one hand, it deals with obsessions about looks and excessive preening, but this is because I am never good enough. The camera thing is especially true. I am on an amazing vacation right now, yet any time a camera points in my direction, all I can think of is destroying it so that all of my flaws won't be on record. I have dodged out of the way of cameras before, and not eaten for three days or vomited up everything I have eaten, all because of one unflattering picture.
The real reason I am single? It's because I feel I am too ugly and fat for anyone to love. I am afraid that the moment a guy takes my dress off, I will suddenly appear to be 300 lbs heavier, despite how reason tells me that is impossible since I weigh 135 lbs , all because I do not weigh 90 lbs. Even when I weighed 90 lbs, I wanted to weigh 80.
I refuse to allow the doctor to weigh me.
I am ashamed that I have been cursed with a 36D chest. I only want slight raises under the nipples, complimenting a line of prominent rib bones. To me, "Full Figured" means "No Right To Live".
If a boy does not want to date me, it's because I'm fat and ugly. If I do not get a job, it's because I'm fat and ugly. If I do poorly on a test, it's because I'm fat and ugly. Rationality says such things are not connected, but my mind does not listen. Sometimes it's impossible to silence your own mind.
I am not writing this entry in order to fish for 'You're not fat' compliments. I am writing it because this is what I have faced every day for as long back as I recall, and also because I need to say it out loud somewhere. And, again, to stress that and eating disorder is not a matter of vanity.
|
|
|
| Mexico! |
[Wednesday
June 4th, 2008 5:29pm] |
I'm in Mexico right now, the Carribean, with my dad, my step-mother, my sister, my sister's best friend, and her boyfriend. Sadly, none of my friends could come, but it's quite crowded here as is, despite how we're at a rather large house. The house is beautiful; a small walk from the beach and has a pool and sitting areas surrounded by tropical flowers.
I spent most of yesterday and today at the beach. There are some feral cats that came into the front yard that I somehow tamed and now they won't leave me alone. I don't mind, though, since I love cats and tend to have a way with even the most wild of them.
Tonight I am going clubbing, which will be fun. I'm already getting an intense tan!
|
|
|
|
[Sunday
June 1st, 2008 2:11am] |
Well, fuck.
That sums that up.
|
|
|
|
[Friday
May 16th, 2008 11:53pm] |
|
Guess who passed Embalming Chem? Yup. That's right. ME.
|
|
|
| My Night In General. |
[Saturday
May 10th, 2008 4:46am] |
This is from "The College Humor Guide to College". It pretty much sums up the last 24 hours for me:
1 Day to Finals
Frantically learn a semester's worth of material in one hour. Snort 40 milligrams of crushed Adderall. Snort additional 5 crushed Sweet Tarts to take the edge off. Become fascinated with Gregorian chant, download 3 gigs of it. Realize that tests "don't really get to your understanding of the material, just what you've memorized."
I love how I've become an avid blogger around the time of finals.
In 24 hours, I'll be ASLEEP. FINALLY.
....why isn't there any Adderall on campus?
Oh, and what the fuck kind of school has finals on a Saturday? REALLY. Granted, my week started on Thursday and I fucked around all week when I could have been studying.
Really, last night I spent half the night complaining about studying, then took a 1 AM run to McDonald's, then finally studied at around 4 in the morning.
...I wish today's finals started at 2 PM like the other ones so I could sleep.
|
|
|
| More on Marriage. |
[Saturday
May 10th, 2008 2:26am] |
Oh heavens, what is wrong with me? I cannot even concentrate on my studies! It is quite terrible timing for this.
Dad is up to help me pack my things and bring me home. "Don't worry", he said, "You'll marry a nice Funeral Director."
If only it was that easy!
My sister is working at an Ad Agency for her Senior Experience. She was filing ads, and happened upon one for French Mortuary. She mentioned to her boss that I'm a funeral director. So, now I most likely will have a wonderful job set up for the Summer, if all is possible. That's what I need -- to get my mind back on what is important.
Now back to studying.
Chemistry did not go well.
|
|
|
|
[Thursday
May 8th, 2008 9:10pm] |
Dear Embalming Chemistry,
I hate you. You are not important. All I have to do is look at the back of the bottle to know how much formula to use for the body. Everything else, I can learn in Embalming class without having the name 'Chemistry' hanging over my head. Yet, you think you're so needed, that you make yourself difficult and cause me to probably fail, so I'm stuck taking you over.
Why do you do this to me?
|
|
|
|
[Wednesday
May 7th, 2008 2:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
Well, fuck. I will never ace my finals at this point. Who came up with the brilliant plan of making students move out of the dorm the day they finished finals? Who the fuck decided to give us Saturday finals? Why am I so ADD that I can't study for half an hour without updating my LJ via iPod Touch?
|
|
|
|
[Friday
April 25th, 2008 8:07pm] |
Look! This sums-up my life!
|
|
|
|
[Monday
April 21st, 2008 4:06am] |
|
Turkish Delight candies are most likely rolled in crack, not powdered sugar. I am quite addicted to them; especially the rose ones. I would turn over anyone I love to the White Witch for more.
|
|
|
|
[Saturday
April 19th, 2008 2:27am] |
When Persephone returned from the Underworld, did she find that the 'World Above' was not as she remembered? Did she step onto the Earth to find that her flowers were not as she remembered, nor did they fill her with the same joy when she picked them? When she held them in her hand, did they wilt instead of bloom?
As Persephone grows stronger, Kore dies. In fact, as the years pass, Persephone finds herself forgetting that she was ever Kore at all. She has transformed into the Queen of the Underworld. There is no more sunkissed child playing in the field with her maiden friends, stringing flowers in her long brown hair. Instead, there stands the Ice Queen, tall and strong with hair so pale that it would cause the petals of a flower crown to freeze.
Persephone knows every death except her own.
Kore is quite, quite, dead.
|
|
|
|
[Sunday
April 6th, 2008 2:28am] |
|
How the fuck am I going to handle Pennsic with all the food? I want to drink there, but I'm afraid it will make me gain weight. Maybe there's a health club around, or I can get up early in the morning and jog.
|
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
doll_ofthe_dead's journal